By Dr. Ching Tunglut
27 July 2021
Jung, in his chapter on student years in the book ‘Memories, dreams, reflections’, he reflected upon how he was unwilling to go into medical stream because he did not wish to be a living shadow of his grandfather. Nevertheless, instances led to circumstances and he still did get into the field of medicine. He also somehow maintained his stand on how he does not want to end up like his father, who once had the zeal and energy for knowledge, which ended once he graduated from college and got married. Jung felt the sacrifices that his father made to attain that traditional stable ideals quietened his quest for knowledge and adventure he had when he was a student himself. He further described his parents as living devout lives, which eventually led to them having angry scenes that were frequent. He went on describing his father as someone who did a great deal of good, which resulted in him (his father) feeling irritable. And he believed that this experience of his father, that is the experience of living a one-sided life (without the awareness of the other side in himself), a life that was devout and in service of goodness while denying the presence of the opposite in one, was somehow responsible for his father abandoning his own faith, although he would not admit to it: somehow hinting that his parents were both unaware of their no.2, that is, their shadow. This, he believes, was the genesis of his father’s frustrations and agitation.
Reading through Jung’s monologue as he tries to understand his parents, there is a lingering of a question if there are any of us who resonate with his experience: of experiencing our parents struggle, and seeing how they inadvertently instils in us a system that we would live by for a large number of our life, and for most of us, it may eventually be for the rest of our life. We may or may not admit to being influenced by our own parents in our life. But, there surely does come a time when we have that “aha!” moment, as we realise how much of our parents we had become, no matter how strongly we try to deny it. Jung being aware of the no. 2 personality in one’s self, he was somehow empathic toward his own father’s struggle, and could understand the turmoil within, of the life unlived that may remain unexpressed. For most of us, we are likely to have our parents on an idealised pedestal, selectively unaware or unconscious of their human qualities, we might have a hard time with the other side of our parents, or the other side in our own self. And when we are unaware of the duality in us (or our parents), there arise a problem. In marriage or relationship, this could come out in the form of “my parents know more than yours.” On the other hand, if we do not idealize our parent, and to us they have become as human as possible, then our experience of the world may indeed be quite different than others. Even at times questioning the value of relationship, or even the worth of one’s own existence at times. This may be an extreme representation, but not impossible either.
Jung beautifully reflected on the development of his own 2nd personality, indicating how his no.2 was greatly influenced by his mother’s no.2, and it seems his father’s experiences also played a role in how Jung treated his no.2. And the fact that he sensed it and he somehow felt it as an important part of himself was his own saving grace in the traditional one sided driven time that he lived in….this one-sidedness still does exist in our society, but modern man may have a different experience of being one-sided as compared to a traditional man…and the one-sided life that Jung seemed to have lived in was where he was expected to abide by the norms of the society, be the son of the pastor, be the good son who would simply study and then earn for the family, to be the responsible man that society expects him to be which he called paternal tradition, not much unlike the current experiences of our time in a collectivistic culture. And that was what he freed himself from, the freedom he mentioned when he chooses psychiatry over becoming a surgeon, a respected profession especially in comparison with psychiatry which was viewed (even by himself) as without real objective. He chooses psychiatry for his own reasons, against the will of everyone else. And that became his home, his alma mater. If he had caved in and willed himself to become a surgeon against his own intuitive sense to take psychiatry, we might not know who Carl Jung is to this day.
For Jung, it was decidedly important to be aware of both his no.1 and no.2 personality: the understanding of the 2nd personality, the accepting of it, but not being controlled by it, while still letting the 1st personality be in control as he takes responsibility for any sacrifices that are to be met, and being really sure that this is what he wants. Consequently, our conscious self knows and is aware of our inner drive, of our unconscious desires, but we do not let the unconscious side take over us. If we do let our unconscious side take over, then we will become the man whose shadow became him as he became the shadow. Much like the man in the story The Shadow. Thereupon, in our daily life, we might ask our-self: 'am I projecting,' 'is this something that I really want,' 'do I need this,' 'why am I reacting this way without provocation,' 'am I aware of the reason for my action?' To quote Corneau (2017), “He (Man) is born of his mother, he is born of his father, and finally he is born of his own deep self.”
It is worth noting that Jung started the chapter by proclaiming how he does not wish to be a mere reflection of his grandfather, but ends the chapter with how he could imagine his sister becoming like the only sister his grandfather had. Reminding one of the ouroboros symbol: an ending that connects with the beginning.
References:
Corneau, G. (2017). Absent fathers, Lost Sons: the Search for Masculine Identity. Shambala Publications, Inc.
Jung, C. G. (1963). Memories, dreams, reflections. Crown Publishing Group/Random House.